Original write up as seen on CaptainKSYO linked here. (CaptainKSYO is currently under construction as it changes ownership. The original story follows below.) This classic elemental fantasy image--or rather near classical image--presented the challenge in that I am a bit of a prude when it comes to things that have to do with jokes about passing gas. However, I think I "rose to the occasion" so to speak and was able to inject some humor into the story which made direct reference to the character passing gas. I did this all while having character names that referenced their respective elements.
Intro: Behold forces of darkness! We control the very forces of nature for we
are the Elemental Mages of—sweet merciful heavens! Have you been eating beans again, Aether?
“How in the name
of all nature do you expect us to be taken seriously by the enemies of all that
is good Aether? If you are constantly
expelling clouds in that way, villains will laugh at us!”
“But bending,
manipulating, yes even BREAKING wind to my will is just what I do brother
Soilomous! You control all aspects of
earth and things that come from the ground.
I control the air itself in whatever form that might take. In fact, I would go so far as to say that my
unique control allows us a tactical advantage none would expect! Our enemies are taken totally off guard when
I use my abilities.”
“I believe that
Soilomous has a point dear brother. We
wish the forces of darkness to tremble at our might, not shudder in disgust at
your antics. It’s a miracle those
‘emissions’ of yours have yet to cause us all to fall ill during the heat of
battle.”
“Antics you call
them? Don’t you lecture me brother
Pyrous! I saw the way you were trying to
use your own fire bending abilities to form a fire guitar! How exactly does that help us to protect
humanity?”
“Aether, what
Pyrous does in his free time is of no concern here. So stop being a wet blanket on his down time
and stop trying to distract from the fact you are using highly unorthodox
methods in our fight against evil! Can’t
you find a more civilized way of announcing your presence that doesn’t cause
mortal men and fiend alike to laugh rather than revere and fear us?”
“Easy for you to
say Aquas! A few drops of water, a flick
of the wrist, and presto! You’ve got
dancing water that wows the average man and befuddles our enemies. I make do the best I can with what I’ve got! Say, that reminds you guys. Want to see a new fighting technique I have
learned? It allows me to manipulate
fire just like our brother Pyrous.
Quick, one of you, lend me a match!”
Keep This Shirt On If: You
feel as if you are able to control nature when you get a static shock.
Forget About It If: You
would like to clear the air of a few things…so to speak.
Color: There’s a Light Gray
cloud moving this way, and I don’t think it’s rain.
Artist Bio: Though he tries
to bill himself as a master of powerful forces, Peter Kramer has only one
magical ability. He can direct garlic
and onion fumes in concentrated blasts that completely overwhelm his enemies.
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